Last year, I felt 2 different types of guilt. I felt weighed down with a lot of regret about not putting in necessary time + effort toward my passion for the game/its history + my ultimate goal of playing Survivor. I talked about it to very few people, but the ones I let in I believe could tell how important this was to me + I imagine were surprised by the way my actions didn’t align with what I was saying. The other source of guilt that was weighing on me was how, having moved out on my own, I felt I was neglecting one of my most cherished relationships (w/ my dad) by getting swept up in work + other social obligations. Again, my words weren’t aligning with my actions, b/c I would speak so highly of him, but then why am I here + not there spending time w/ him instead? Shouldn’t that be priority over whoever I’m saying all this to? Well, say what you want about 2020 – this year allowed me to actually get to know myself + I believe that now shines through in my actions. I moved back home due to the pandemic + prioritized the things I truly value in life. I read all the Survivor books I had ordered on Amazon that had started to collect dust, I researched a lot about the show online + I got a lot closer w/ my dad watching all 40 seasons together. ✨
Survivor makes me “dig deep” (as Jeff Probst says) in life + all that i do (running/work/etc.) – it motivates me to constantly push myself more.
Helps me to remind myself to be more open to new opportunities. I think about WWSD? (What Would someone on Survivor Do?/What Would the Survivor version of myself Do?)
It made me want to be a good person. It sounds silly, because you think most people probably already want that or should want that… 😬 but IDK – it wasn’t really something I thought about. I guess it actually first started when I really liked someone I went out w/ a few years ago + it didn’t work out, because I’ve always thought he’s a better person than me. He’s good. In the feelings for this person, I first thought – I want to be good too. + Survivor really solidified that in me through the emotional turmoil of many players, constant final 3 tribal morality disputes, etc. – helped shape me as a person.
Interacting w/ the Survivor community/other Superfans online during quarantine/the pandemic has been really refreshing, energizing, supportive, motivating, etc. to me in many ways. TY all for that. ❤️
Helped me to be more vulnerable (this post included)/to feel more okay w/ sharing more personal things than before – especially if I’m talking about the show w/ someone bc it leads to a lot of deep questions/conversation topics/emotional discovery discussions.
It helps me to always see things from multiple perspectives + think about a problem or situation from all angles. I strategize better (even just in daily life) b/c it changed how i approach everything/anything.
It’s helped me to become more reflective – to take time to take a step back + assess (and began to meditate daily). (being sober for ~10 months now too has helped enormously) ☁️
Finally, (for now – I’m sure I’ll be adding more…) Survivor has inspired me to write more these past few months than all of 2018-2019 combined + I’ve considered myself a writer/thought of that as a key part of my identity for some time now (~2011), but dropped off the past few years when it was no longer a part of my job.